Vicious Cycle

I feel like we are stuck in a vicious cycle. There are several things that we feel committed to as a family but at times these things seem to be in conflict with each other. Lately this has become most apparent in our desire to grow our family through adoption.

Commitment: Kirk’s job at New City Fellowship. We know this is where God has placed our family. Kirk is good at his job and enjoys it. God is using him to show love to the nations by pursuing multicultural music. Our church also believes in walking with the poor. They pay Kirk enough to support his family but not too much to make him unable to sympathize with those around us who are poor. This has been a good thing in our life as we humbly are able to understand what it is like to live paycheck-to-paycheck, almost. New City Fellowship is a good thing God has put in our life.

Commitment: Sarah’s job as a stay-at-home mom. I believe that the best thing I can do for my kids is be a stay-at-home mom for them during the first few years of their life. This gives them the chance to have a stable foundation as they go on into the world. It is hard to be a full-time mommy but also so rewarding. I have loved being able to fully invest myself in my kids, my household, and BAKING! Being at home full time also make me able to spend the time needed to work with a newly adopted child as they mourn for the loss of their first family and attach to ours.

Commitment: Living in the inner city. We moved into our house three and a half years ago. We wanted to live near the church office. God has blessed us with a wonderful block full of wonderful people. We happen to be the only non-African American family on the block. I love it! I love the environment for my kids. I love that I am pushed to step our of my comfort zone to go the the grocery store where I will be the only white face. I love the connections I have made and the acceptance I have received from those around us. I am glad that our AA adopted children will have people around them with the same skin color. And that I am having the opportunity to taste what it is like to be in the minority.

Commitment: Love and compassion for the orphan, the widow, and the refugee. Jesus’ kingdom. This is what has drawn us to pursue adoption rather than having more biological children. We have the space, love, and community that make us good candidates for adoption. Our compassion does not end with children who need a family, we also feel deeply for mom’s who are facing crisis pregnancies. Our desire for a child is balanced with a desire for moms to be able to raise their children. We are also committed to trans-racial adoption. We believe that God has equipped us to be a good option for an African American child because we will be able to raise him/her in an environment where they will be involved with other trans-racial families and have positive African American role models in their life through our neighborhood, church, and school.

Lately I have been frustrated with how our commitment to transracial adoption is being blocked by our financial commitment to being in our church which makes us a good option for a transracial adoption. Arg!

The best way to learn to trust my Heavenly Father is to be forced to trust him. I’m learning this, slowly.

Please pass around our adoption profile to anyone and everyone:


A Family of Six

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written.  I’ve been crocheting like crazy getting ready for fall craft sales as I work to save up enough money to finally fly to Kenya to visit my sisters, brother-in-law, and neices.  I’ve also been struggling a lot as I try to wait patiently for God’s perfect timing to provide us with the kids we so long for in our family.  And then suddenly, out of the blue, He’s provided!

This past Monday I got a call from our adoption worker saying they had two kids that needed a new home the next day.  A 2-year old girl and a 10-month old boy.  Were we interested.  After spending the rest of the day in confusion, tears, talking, and praying we met with our worker and decided to say, “Yes!”  We preceded to excitedly rearrange our kids’ bedrooms and get ready.  On Tuesday afternoon B-girl and Baby M arrived.  I was looking forward to slowly getting them adjusted to our house routines and us adjusted to them and then Wednesday night Joanna woke up and started throwing up.  Thursday afternoon Sam started throwing up.  So we spent several days surviving and Kirk’s mom was kind enough to come up to help us out (thanks Dad for making that sacrifice).  We got to go to church on Sunday which was an answer to prayer for me.  Then I went to bed Sunday night feeling sick and threw up in the morning.  Now Kirk is sick and I’m on the mend.  I’m tempted to ask God why He picked this timing in our life to all get sick but He has been so faithful to sustain us and has provided so much encouragement from our church family.

We are adjusting slowly to life with four kids 4 and younger.  In my exhaustion I feel fulfilled and the Spirit has been gracious to give me patience and wisdom.  The kids are getting along well enough, better than I’d expected.  I just can’t wait until we’re all well and can really find our routine.  Please Jesus let it come soon.

The Waiting Game

Well, we’ve finished our foster classes (9 weeks of 3 hours each Tuesday night).  We’ve got a month to relax a little and try to get all of our paperwork finished.  And then in April we’ll have two all-day Saturday adoption classes.  Then we’re done, with the easy part.  Then comes waiting.  It’s been brought to our attention several time how hard it might be for us to get a placement in the age-range we feel is right for our family.  This may mean that we have to wait for a long time.  That’s been hard on me emotionally but then I think of some who are dear to me that have had to wait a long time to conceive a child.  It has given me so much more respect for them and their patience in waiting.   We don’t know exactly what the Lord’s will is for us.  How do we know if we need to expand our expectations of “baby number three.”  How do we know if we should stick with the state system to adopt (should we look into private or international)?  God hasn’t written these answers on the wall.

New Photos

I just found this in my saved drafts…it’s only about 3 and a half years old…

Am I Cute or What?
Check out this and other new photos of Joanna on Flicker.

It’s a Boy

baby boy

Originally uploaded by kirksarahjoanna.

Just wanted to share one of the first pics of our little “guy.” That’s right start sending in your boy names now. This will be the 5th grandkid on my side of the family, but the first grandson. On Kirk’s side of the family…well, Kate has a son and daughter so there was no kind of firsts for us to have. We’re psyched!

A Mind of My Own – by Joanna

What does a lion say?

Originally uploaded by kirksarahjoanna.

I’m writing this entry about myself for once, not Mommy writing about me. I have a mind of my own and my own ideas and want to share them with the world. So now that Mommy has finally fallen asleep (she only cried for 4 minutes) I’ve pulled myself up to the computer and I want to tell you about Mommy and my trip to the mall yesterday.

We went to the mall to get my picture taken at Picture People for a picture contest and because Mom could get a free picture with a coupon. I slept the whole way there in the car, it’s great to have a chaufeur to take me wherever I want to go. But you know what, I wasn’t really in the mood to have my picture taken. I know you all think I smile a lot, but yesterday I just didn’t feel like it and that’s what I said to the photographer. I just sat there. She tried and tried to get me to smile and even had this bright colored feather-duster thing that she waved around in my face and tried to tickle my toes and neck with. What’s up with that!?! Just because I’m a baby people think they can be all in my personal space! But it’s alright, because I showed her that I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to do. I got to take some fun pictures with Mommy though. I smiled for those so that we could get one of them to give to Daddy. I think Mom was a bit bummed because I wasn’t behaving better so I did give her a few good smiles in the end. She wanted a good picture of me because she thinks I’m the cutest and could win the contest.

But enough of that. After the pictures were done, whew, I felt so happy and smiley and talkative, we went wandering around the mall a bit. Mommy has a pair of crocs that she loves and so she stopped to look at the flip-flop crocs at a free-standing place. I thought they were pretty cool too so I grabbed myself a pair of orange and blue ones in honor of my Auntie Anna who is the best goalie in the world and plays soccer at Covenant – we’re hoping they go to Nationals this year so I can go see her play in Kansas City. I was pretty pleased with my choice of shoes and Mommy and I kept walking on (well, Mommy was walking and I was hitching a ride in my stroller). I was really enjoying my new flip-flops and was about to put them to the ultimate test, the Taste Test, when Mommy grabbed them away from me. She said that I couldn’t just take things that didn’t belong to me and then she made me take them back. Oh well, at least she let us sit down and gave me some yummy “puffs” to snack on before we went home.

PS. Do you like the picture of me? This is my new smile, Mommy and Daddy laugh whenever I do it so I guess it’s funny or something.