Sitting in the Dark

I’m sitting in my 3 year olds room. In the dark. On the edge of his bed. Hoping he falls asleep before my phone’s battery dies. I sit here to trap him in bed, vainly hoping my presence will help him feel safe enough to fall asleep.

We’ve hit a roadblock in parenting this little guy who joined our family 9 months ago. I love him to death and hope and pray daily that he’ll be mine forever. Sometimes I feel he’s sucking the life out of me.

Bedtime has become a nightmare. One parent cleans up the kitchen, helps the big kids get ready for bed, connects with the big kids over some Narnia, and tucks them in. The other parent gets D ready for bed, reads books quietly, sings songs, rubs back, prays, and says goodnight. Then puts D to bed. Then puts D to bed again. Then puts D to bed again. To be transparent, this happens until they have to ask for a sub because they have become enraged.


We’re starting a training in a couple of weeks based on Karyn Purvis’ “The Connected Child”. It can’t come soon enough. My three year old’s brain is wired differently than my bio kids who haven’t experienced trauma our neglect. Did you know that by connecting with a child from a “hard place”, you can change the way their brain functions? Did you know that you can teach a child to trust again? Did you know that you can help their brains not go directly into fight or flight just because you asked them not to touch the hot oven?

I feel so honored and humbled that God has directed Kirk and I into the business of changing brain chemistry.  I’m so thankful that He gives His Holy Spirit to sustain and give us wisdom through this journey.


One thought on “Sitting in the Dark

  1. Oh, Sarah, the Lord has called you and Kirk to an amazing and so challenging ministry. We’ll be praying for you guys and D at our bedtime, that he will have peace at his bedtime specifically. And for Spirit-given patience for you and Kirk, and Joanna and Sam. I love you, and am so proud of you guys!

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