BACK OFF!

Well, I ought to be addressing my sister’s prayer letter envelopes but I haven’t blogged in forever. Joanna and I got back yesterday afternoon from a weekend trip to Indianapolis. A cousin and I drove out there for another cousin’s bridal shower. It was a very emotional trip for me. It’s funny how life changes you…I felt like the person I most related to was my aunt (my mom’s older sister). I think it’s just because she was missing her husband and understood my feelings of not being “whole” because I wasn’t with Kirk (and can’t sleep well without him by my side). Motherhood changes you too…my life is so different than that of a single person. I can’t just live life on a whim, Joanna’s gotta eat and sleep…and I have to put those needs of hers before my own. Joanna has also reached the point of mobility. She can roam free and touch and chew on anything in the room she sees. Life now gets to be so much more difficult. So, I was emotional because I missed Kirk so much and it was hot. But I’m off the subject now. Lately I think one of the aspects of motherhood that I’m most struggling with is the fact that I can’t even go grocery shopping without having to stop and let people gawk at my daughter. How should I deal with this? I think some of my frustration comes from the fact that I am an introvert and would prefer to be able to do my shopping and not have anyone even notice me. So, there was a lot of “gawking” at the bridal shower. Wonderful women wanted to help me with Joanna which I really appreciated but it’s hard to freely release my flesh and blood to total strangers and not feel a little anxious. But what I had to realize was that while I was getting stressed and feeling claustophobic, Joanna was having a blast. So how do I find the balance of sharing my daughter with people and protecting her from too much people. Advice?
And for all of the wonderful women in my church, please don’t be offended by this entry. I love the way you care about Joanna and show her so much special love.

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8 thoughts on “BACK OFF!

  1. It is interesting how life changes you. I remember feeling like an old married woman at Wil and Amy’s wedding, and I’d only been married 4 years and had a newborn.
    It definantly is hard sometimes to put your kids’ needs before yours, and hard to juggle them when you’re with people who do not have kids (and therefore, don’t schedule things during naptime or after 8pm!!!)
    Keep at it, though, you’re doing great!!!
    Love you, Rin

  2. I had a great time with you Sarah. And I can attest – people were a little out of control with Joanna! I love little Joanna and keeping her schedule with you was my pleasure!

  3. Keep Purel on hand?
    When I’m running errands, if I’m not feeling particularly chatty, I try to maintain that “sense of urgency” posture… look pleasant and say something short and sweet but keep moving. Especially with strangers I always feel free to ask them not to touch hands or face in order to not spread germs… what are people thinking, anyway?
    Actually, what bothers me more than people wanting to be all over my kids are the ones who feel free to touch all over *ME* when I’m pregnant. Suddenly I’m public property?

  4. i hope it doesn’t sound like i had a horrible weekend. i didn’t. it was so wonderful to spend time with my cousin and get to know her more and meet her fiance. it was also great spending time with my aunt and hearing fun stories of when she and my mom and siblings were kids.

  5. Yeah, I totally agree with Renae. I just keep walking. I slow down and nod and say hi, but I don’t even say thanks anymore. I just keep moving. It’s a matter of survival, I gotta get throught the store! I mean I never feel rude, and I am not a germ-o-phobe. But Joannas cheeks are very squeezable. Eden is pretty good about warding off strangers, she is so coy, she never even cracks a smile!

  6. thanks for the advice guys. it’s very helpful and good to hear that it’s okay to just smile, nod, give a quick thanks and continue on. i’d also like to say that there are certain people that i see pretty much every week at the market and at aldi’s that i feel a “bond” with as they’ve watched joanna grow. it’s cool to think that hopefully she’ll continue to see them weekly and get to know them somewhat. oh yeah…she did come down with a cold which helps me be more confident of keeping her a little more distant from people who are sick.

  7. thanks for the advice guys. it’s very helpful and good to hear that it’s okay to just smile, nod, give a quick thanks and continue on. i’d also like to say that there are certain people that i see pretty much every week at the market and at aldi’s that i feel a “bond” with as they’ve watched joanna grow. it’s cool to think that hopefully she’ll continue to see them weekly and get to know them somewhat. oh yeah…she did come down with a cold which helps me be more confident of keeping her a little more distant from people who are sick.

  8. Sarah-
    If I had a baby I think I’d have a hard time letting a lot of people touch or hold him/her at times. I’ve always thought you have been so kind to let so many people hold Joanna and how hard I think it would be for me to do the same… but thanks so much for letting me hold her! Thanks for your post.

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