A Journal Excerpt

“1 Feb. 2006:
I had a pretty rough weekend. There’s a couple things that have been hard for me. I was feeling really emotionally drained. I realized that I spend all day/night giving of myself; serving Joanna. It can really make me feel empty. I know I can’t do it all myself and I need help. It’s hard for me to ask for help, especially day after day. Kirk is always helpful when I ask but I want him to help on his own…to read my mind. I find that I get so self-focused I don’t notice all that he does without my prompting.
The other thing I was struggling with was not having any sort of routine or “purpose” to my dayss. My main purpose is to take care of Joanna, but what am I to do with the rest of my day? I had a list of things to work on, but it was never-ending. So, I’ve made myself a schedule and it’s been great the first two days it’s been in use. Monday, Family Day (Kirk’s day off); Tuesday, house-cleaning; Wednesday, Business/office-type work; Thursday, grocery shopping; Friday, cooking/baking; Saturday, Sarah time and laundry (of course I also do laundry at least one more time during the week-babies make a lot of dirty stuff); Sunday, sabbath.”
It’s been a lot harder for me to get used to my new lifestyle than I thought it would be. I’ve been a lot more emotional and sensitive than I’d like. I feel like I’m getting the “Mommy” aspect down, but struggling with how to be a Mommy and a wife. But God is patient and gracious and has given me a husband made in His image.

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2 thoughts on “A Journal Excerpt

  1. I’ve been thinking a lot this week about the whole communication thing, and how our spouses don’t know what we need if we don’t ask. But I’m with you, it’s hard to ask for help. Hang in there, girl! I’m glad you came up with a schedule. And spending all day “serving” Joanna will probably get easier as she becomes more and more interactive. Love you, and can’t wait to see you and Joanna soon!!!

  2. Thanks for sharing Sarah. I think we all struggle with that on a daily basis. You’re not alone. But I know it feels all encompassing. Social time with other adults (with kids) is nice, like a small group or game night. That has kept me sane, that and projects that are pretty. Things I can give to people, things I can make for my kids or with my kids. And my blog helped sooo much!
    Thanks for the great pictures and the recipes. I’ll have to try them all, and it’s great cuz I know where they are!!

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