Simeon James was born on May 18th. 8 pounds 5 ounces. 21 inches long. 3 1/2 inch long feet.
We’ve been hesitant to announce the arrival of our new son because he is not yet legally our son. Our hope and our prayer is that he gets to stay with us…but even more that God’s glory would be revealed through us.
Continue to pray for his birth parents as they process and make final decisions about his future.
I was asked to lead our women’s Bible study this morning. So I had to think about what I could share to a group of ladies, some of whom I consider much wiser than myself. What encouragement can I, a young mommy, share with these ladies? In the throws of parenting two kids (ages 6 and 4) and fostering two more for 6 months (ages 2 and 1) and about to adopt another (age…not yet born). Then it hit me, God is my perfect parent!!! I shared some personal stories of how these different aspects of God have played out as I have imperfectly parented my own children but I’ll save those for another blog post.
1. God is my father.
– All who believe in Jesus have become children of God – John 1:9-13
– I have been adopted into God’s family as a true heir – Romans 8:14-17
2. God disciplines me. (This was the first point I thought of. 
)
– He doesn’t discipline us out of anger – Psalm 6:1-3
– He disciplines us to train us – Psalm 119:65-72
– God disciplines us because he loves us – Proverbs 3:11-12
– God forgives us when we sin – Psalm 103:8-14
3. God protects me. God comforts me in my suffering.
– God is a strong tower – Proverbs 18:10
– God comforts us to make us comforters – 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
– God carries us close to his heart – Isaiah 40:11 (someone else brought this one up)
4. God delights in me.
– God rejoices and sings over us – Zephaniah 3:17
– God takes pleasure in us – Psalm 149:4
– He rescues us because he delights in us – 2 Samuel 22:17-20 (David wrote this after being rescued from his enemies and Saul)
5. God never sleeps. (This comes to me as we anticipate having a newborn again)
– Psalm 121
And a wonderful passage of God walking beside us through hard times, protecting us, ransoming us, and calling us to him…Isaiah 43:1-7
And for your viewing pleasure…my little teachers. 
The following letter says it all…We’re getting a baby, maybe. In adoption there is always a chance that things will fall through. But we’re planning as though it’s gonna happen so we’ll be ready if it does.
Dear Family and Friends,
We are happy to announce that we will probably be expanding our family in the next couple months. We were chosen last week by a woman to adopt her baby boy. He is due to be born in May. We are so excited that God has given us this opportunity to serve this woman in her time of need. We are also so excited that we get to have another baby. Praise the Lord for providing us with a child so quickly.
In fact, He has provided the child quicker than we were able to save up the money needed. I had planned to work (I babysit full time) through the end of May. This would have provided us enough money for the remaining cost of the adoption process. Now I will only be working through the end of April. We still need a few thousand dollars. We are planning a fundraising concert for the end of April and saving as much as possible. And praying, that God would provide the rest. Would you be willing or able to help us financially? The picture above is a blanket that I have been crocheting. Each square represents someone who has financially supported our adoption. We would love to give you the opportunity to support us, this special baby, and his “first mommy.”
We need prayer: for patience, for finances, for wisdom to love this woman who is giving us her child.
The baby needs prayer: for health, safe delivery, and a smooth adjustment to our family.
The birth mom needs prayer: for health and strength through the remainder of her pregnancy, for peace about her decision to give us her child, for God to draw her to Himself.
If you would like to support our adoption financially let me know. Let me know if you have any other questions too. (salajean@gmail.com)
We love you all.
Sarah (for Kirk, Joanna, Sam, and “baby #3)
Feel free to also check out our adoption profile: kirksarahadoptionprofile.wordpress.com.
“He’s got the whole world, in my hands. He’s got the whole world, in my hands. He’s got the whole world, in my hands. He’s got the whole world in my hands.” Sam was singing for us tonight while he and Joanna colored. I was washing dishes smiling at his incorrect use of pronouns. Then I hear Joanna say, “No, Sam. It’s HE’S got the whole world in HIS hands.”
How often I forget this and find myself singing, or rather anxious and stressed out that He’s got the whole world and put it in my hands. When really I need to remember that He does have the whole world and it is all in His hands.
We’ve been talking about adoption again with the kids and it’s been nice to talk in terms of having a baby that will be in our family forever. You hear a lot about becoming a “forever family” for a kid who needs a family. It’s been nice to be able to tell our kids that whoever we adopt will be a “forever sibling” to them. I’ve had some sweet talks with the kids about things we liked and miss about B and M. I’m usually choking back tears that later come out when I’m alone or someone who knows me dearly asks me a direct question about how we’re doing.
Psalm 107:17-22 “Some were fools through their sinful ways, and because of their iniquities suffered affliction; they loathed any kind of food, and they drew near to the gates of death. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of men! And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving, and tell of his deeds in songs of joy!”
I figure the most fitting title to this blog post referred to the post preceding it, “A Family of Six.” We are no longer a family of six as B and M are no longer living with us. A very long and personal story of struggle and grief. It was an extremely difficult decision to make but we had to ask for them to be moved to another foster family. We have since closed our file with Children’s Division and are now beginning the process of growing our family through private adoption. We had B and M for about 6 months and then have been gone from our home for about 6 months. We’ve learned a lot, hurt a lot, grown a lot, and been forced to lean on God’s grace a lot. We live in a sinful and broken world and it’s messy. I am learning about loss and grief on a more personal level than I ever have before and thank God that my heart will always be a little bit broken for my blond kiddos that I briefly had the pleasure to love on. We were praying at night for B and M and Joanna said, “Why do they keep getting passed from family to family.” I hate that their mother’s selfishness is causing them so much harm. I am babysitting my friends’ daughters a few days a week and one of them is a baby. Sam has been so sweet with her and I asked him if he’s excited about having another baby in our family. “I want baby M in my family,” he said. I’m thankful that Joanna and Sam remember B and M with fondness and have forgotten how hard it was.
Psalm 37 has become my theme and comfort of the last year of waiting for a placement and now as we begin waiting again and healing from our time with B and M. “The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand.” (v. 23-24)
I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written. I’ve been crocheting like crazy getting ready for fall craft sales as I work to save up enough money to finally fly to Kenya to visit my sisters, brother-in-law, and neices. I’ve also been struggling a lot as I try to wait patiently for God’s perfect timing to provide us with the kids we so long for in our family. And then suddenly, out of the blue, He’s provided!
This past Monday I got a call from our adoption worker saying they had two kids that needed a new home the next day. A 2-year old girl and a 10-month old boy. Were we interested. After spending the rest of the day in confusion, tears, talking, and praying we met with our worker and decided to say, “Yes!” We preceded to excitedly rearrange our kids’ bedrooms and get ready. On Tuesday afternoon B-girl and Baby M arrived. I was looking forward to slowly getting them adjusted to our house routines and us adjusted to them and then Wednesday night Joanna woke up and started throwing up. Thursday afternoon Sam started throwing up. So we spent several days surviving and Kirk’s mom was kind enough to come up to help us out (thanks Dad for making that sacrifice). We got to go to church on Sunday which was an answer to prayer for me. Then I went to bed Sunday night feeling sick and threw up in the morning. Now Kirk is sick and I’m on the mend. I’m tempted to ask God why He picked this timing in our life to all get sick but He has been so faithful to sustain us and has provided so much encouragement from our church family.
We are adjusting slowly to life with four kids 4 and younger. In my exhaustion I feel fulfilled and the Spirit has been gracious to give me patience and wisdom. The kids are getting along well enough, better than I’d expected. I just can’t wait until we’re all well and can really find our routine. Please Jesus let it come soon.
A week ago we were included in a “staffing” to determine which of four families would get to pursue the adoption of a specific little boy. We were one of the families and felt like we had a really good chance of being chosen. So we carefully held our emotions at bay but the thoughts still came through of where will he sleep, how will we set up the bedrooms, and I can’t wait to start washing all the clothes and putting them in his dresser (very similar to nesting right before giving birth). It was determined that one of the other families would be the best family to raise him. We were very sad for ourselves but happy that he will have a family and happy for that family, whoever they may be. We were gone for the weekend and it was wonderful to escape from real life.
It was a wonderful weekend of hanging out with my husband’s father’s family. I am so blessed to have married into such a loving, joyful, musical, emotional, and godly family. But as we’ve been home I’ve been working through my sadness of not getting to welcome a new child into the family. I long for the day that we get to focus on a particular child and make plans and prepare the house and talked the kids about how our life is going to change. I’m so excited for that day and yet that day is at some unknown to me time in the future. I am reminded again and again about God’s loving sovereignty over my life. I am so thankful to serve a God who is both all-powerful and also so kind and gentle to me as a mere human. A confused and sinful and un-trusting human. I’m thankful that He’s big enough to accept my doubts and my fears and work through them with me.
So what does all this emotional rambling have to do with being an MK? I grew up as a missionary kid (MK) in Kenya and that has impacted me more than most other things in my life. A lot of MKs have a hard time settling down. I never felt that way until recent years. I find myself getting bored and needing change. Life starts to feel stagnant for me after awhile. So Kirk and I were talking about all of the major life changed we’ve had in the last 6 years. Got married. Moved to a new city. Started new jobs. Got pregnant. Quit my job. Had a baby. Got pregnant. Threw up a lot. Had a second baby. Bought a house. Went to London several time. Got two cats. Started the adoption process.
Now I’m starting to have these longings for something new again and what I really want is a new child. But God has said, “wait.” So what do I do while I wait. Get a dog? Rearrange the house? Get depressed? Or try to focus on the kids God’s already given me and their needs and realize that I really do have a lot of change coming up. I’m trying to keep that in mind so here’s a list for you.
-we’ll be hosting a bible club on our block this week
-we’re going to Chattanooga/Murphy in a couple of weeks
-Joanna starts school soon
-I start watching my friend’s baby next month for one day each week
-our house guest for the summer leaves next month and I can rearrange to my heart’s content
Psalm 37.
Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.
This week a “staffing” will be held where a panel of about 12 people will determine who will become a forever family for a little boy we are interested in. We are one of the 4 families being looked at. I feel so excited, anxious, peaceful, overwhelmed. God is faithful. A wonderful woman was at my house yesterday and reminded me that God knows what will happen in the future. That there could be something years down the road that would make us a bad choice as a family for this little boy. So maybe we wouldn’t get picked and wouldn’t understand why…but God knows. I am so thankful to serve a God who is in control and is so loving of me to care for me. He’s given me much peace. If we do not get to be this boy’s family I will be VERY disappointed but I know that I can trust God.
So in the meantime I’ve spent the week taking care of a friend’s little girl. It’s been wonderful! I’m too busy to dwell on the decisions of Friday all the time. Joanna and Sam have had a blast being big siblings. I am SO proud of them and how much they’ve helped by playing with her, feeding her, getting her toys and pacifiers, etc. I think they’re gonna do great adding another member to our family when the time comes!
Yesterday was an interesting day with lots to think about. Kirk was off work so the morning was spent relaxing together, eating cinnamon rolls, chillin’ in the back yard.
Next came our meeting with our adoption specialist where we discussed a potential child and some crazy new developments…no case is typical we learned in class and now we get to learn it on a practical level. But God is faithfully keeping my emotions in tact and continues to encourage me that He knows what kid we are right for and will bring him/her at the right time. Sorry, no further details in this public of a venue.
Then our friend and neighbor dropped by while he waited for his wife, who had the house key, to get home. Kirk had a wonderful conversation with him about adoption, city living, and the grace of Jesus. He is a believer who is feeling dissatisfied with his church where so much emphasis is placed on what separates them from others that they can’t just love people and see similarities. And also his desire for ministries of mercy. Kirk had a great opportunity to talk about New City and our core values of grace and justice.
Next big event was playing outside with the girls from next door. I won’t go into my conversation with one of the girls about how the Most High said that we’re supposed to wear skirts, not pants. As Bethany and I sat out there chatting we noticed some “suspicious” activity down the block. She’d walked down there earlier and seen guys in a car with a whole bunch of money…and guys hanging out in front of houses that are not occupied. So I finally got up the gumption to make my first call to the police to report it. This was a big step for me! A bit later two cop cars drove by, pulled over, chatted with the guys. And then sure enough handcuffed a man and a woman and spent quite awhile out there. Not sure what else happened but hopefully it’s a start to a safer block. It makes me think about the woman arrested…was it for prostitution? has she fallen into prostitution because she’s addicted to drugs? does she have children? will they go into state custody? will she be able to get over her addictions so that she can be a good mommy?
Lest you begin to think that city life is all crime and cops…this is the occurance at one end of the block while the rest of the block is made up of wonderful, neighborly people.
Time is changing and I feel like my life is in waiting. This summer has been full of social activity and fun. Running in the early morning with friends. Weekly get-togethers with fellow Christian sisters. Crocheting and embroidering. Weeding and planting in the garden. Sweating outside so we can play with neighbor friends and host a Bible Club. Frustration, anger, joy, and laughter with the kids. And waiting…waiting for God to make me like Him…waiting for a call from our adoption specialist…waiting for the heat to pass…waiting for the house to be clean. God please help me to be satisfied!
